Rookie Mommy Ramblings

As a rookie mom, I have a new found respect for mothers... my mother especially. It's a tough job but one who's compensation is priceless and worth every single sacrifice. My son is now a year old, 14 months to be exact. He's been fearlessly walking since 11 months old now and it just seems like everything he does is the cutest thing. From his dancing to his sweet "mama" - I'm head over heals in love with my little man!

And of course... his first birthday made for a great celebration of his life in our lives!

Here are pictures our amazing photographer and friend, Sasha de Almagro took of his Dr. Seuss inspired birthday.






I had the best intentions to keep up with my blog when I began... and then again the second time around when I decided to focus on mommyhood topics. It's been a while since my last post, which was facilitated by mobile blogging from my Crackberry. It's not so easy to get in front of the computer these days for leisure time. A lot of work, working from home... as a full-time publicist... and being a mom to the cutest (now) 7 month old. I hired a nanny so I could keep working from home and be close to him. Coincidentally, today is her first day and she happens to be my sister. Two days a week she will watch him while I work, of course I'm paying her... rather pay her than a complete stranger, excellent references and all. The rest of the week, I take him to my mama's and I work from her home office there while she watches him and of course, I do too to some extent.

Now at 7 months, Rock is crawling (started at 6 months) and makes sure to crawl to anywhere that has a ledge or height because he wants to climb and stand. He's standing and his crib holding himself and "walking" from one side to the other while holding on to the railing. Hard to believe! Fifteen days ago he could barely sit up without flopping over... I have a hysterical video (which is in the pending to upload file) of him sitting up and flopping over, over and over again. He's relentless when he's trying to do something, whether its reaching for a toy or trying to stand up.

It's truly amazing to watch him develop. He is growing so very fast before my very eyes. They really mean it when they all said "They grow so fast!" I'm enjoying the ride as much as I can while maintaining a self-employed career, which I've learned is not an easy feat. I failed to mention I quit my job at an international full-time public relations agency to work on my own. I never went back after maternity leave.

Here he is, days shy of 7 months old...

There is so much controversial debate over the possible correlation between vaccines and autism (among many other maladies) that the subject is almost taboo within mommy groups.

This morning I posted this article from CNN.com on my Facebook page stating that a study has proven vaccines aren't to blame for Autism among other illnesses. I was pleased to find a fellow Birthing From Within classmate and natural birth warrior who immediately voiced her opinion on not vaccinating her infant son, "I disagree I will never vaccinate my child...We have lots of case studies which indicate autism is linked to vaccinations not to mention the fact these vaccinations have mercury and other terrible things for kids which one should not be exposed to especially our little ones!" Then there was another amazing mommy friend who opposed and is in favor of vaccinating her child and stated, "I personally don't think there's a link. But then again, I also don't think it's wrong for your kid to watch TV before they are 2 and I will give my kids cafe con leche just like I had when I was little. Sophia's pediatrician advised us that they don't make the MMR vaccine with mercury any longer. So, if the vaccine is what you are worried about, you're good."

No matter what side of the issue you're on, there's an equal and passionate opposition for each. One quick Google search and the banter of people who consider me an "ignorant idiot" prevails. I'm ok with that. And I truthfully respect a parent's choice to vaccinate their child and completely understand why parents would in fact vaccinate. After all, you and I are likely completely vaccinated and we're ok...

When my beautiful sister was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 17 over 5 years ago - it was hard to believe. Her earliest symptom was at 4 years old when she complained to my mother about "hormiguitas en las manos" or "ants in her hands" - the tingling sensation and numbness concerned my mom and she took her to the pediatrician who then referred her to the neurologist but my then she was no longer complaining and it was dismissed as just regular numbness we all experience from time to time. When my mom recalled this memory, I remember thinking "Vaccines!" and began to Google away. While the amount of information was overwhelming it was also inconclusive. It seemed as though for every study that implicated a particular vaccine to be at the root of various maladies, there was another that exonerated it.

Now as a mother, inconclusive information is not good enough for me. There's no financial interest or gain in researchers stating there are in fact many dangers associated with vaccines. On the other hand, big pharma is the main, if not sole, financier of many studies that claim there are no major risks in obtaining vaccines. So who do you believe?

As a fellow friend, I'd like to list the many reasons I and many other mothers (and fathers) have chosen not to vaccinate - it's not "hysteria" or "paranoia." I think as parents we need to ask raise questions and not believe blindly. The article below is from BellyBelly.com and is written by the Australian Vaccination Network. It does an excellent job at explaining each bullet in a nutshell. Although some information applies to Australia particularly, most countries require the same vaccines.

10 Reasons Why Parents Choose Not To Vaccinate

For some time now, members of the government and the medical industry have tried to explain away the phenomenon of parental refusal to vaccinate. Despite the government's own studies, such as Rogers and Pilgrim; 1993, which shows that 'Older, highly educated parents form the basis of the [sic] anti-immunisation lobby', parents continue to be accused of being ignorant, uncaring and stupid for refusing vaccines which the medical community claim will keep their children healthy.

In an effort to set the record straight, the AVN, which is contacted by more than 10,000 Australian parents each year who question this procedure, would like to give you the 10 most common reasons why the parents who contact us have chosen not to vaccinate.

1) Vaccines have never been tested
The gold standard of medical science is the double blind crossover placebo study. This test has never been performed on any vaccine currently licensed in Australia. In an astounding leap of logic, contrary to all rules of science, vaccines are assumed to be safe and effective and therefore, it is considered to be unethical to withhold vaccinations for the purposes of testing them.

2) Vaccines contain toxic additives and heavy metals
The list of vaccine ingredients includes toxins such as formaldehyde, a substance which the Queensland Poisons Control Centre has said was 'unsafe at any level if injected into the human body'; carbolic acid, also a strong poison which was implicated in deaths and serious injuries in a recent Sydney hospital mishap; aluminum which is linked with the development of Alzheimer's disease and allergies; and Thiomersal, a mercury-based preservative which is a known neurotoxin and whose inclusion in vaccination sparked a series of Congressional hearings which saw the US Government and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) call for its immediate withdrawal from any vaccine product and which was withdrawn over two years ago in the USA from any over-the-counter medicines. It was also withdrawn from the American Hepatitis B vaccines, Engerix and HB Vax II, though their Australian counterparts which are still being injected into children here today, are only just being made mercury free or mercury reduced (though the old, mercury-laced stocks will be used up rather than being withdrawn from use).

3) Vaccines are contaminated with human and animal viruses and bacteria
All childhood vaccines, apart from the Hepatitis B (which is genetically engineered and carries with it a different set of problems,) are cultured on either animal tissue, a broth of animal and/or human blood and blood products or the cell lines from aborted human fetuses. None of these culturing methods is able to guarantee an uncontaminated vaccine. In fact, it is well known that many foreign viruses and bacteria can and do contaminate vaccines. Almost none of these contaminants have been studied. The few which have been leave many parents concerned about the long-term effects of injecting these substances into their children. For instance, SV 40 (simian or monkey virus 40 – just one of 60 monkey viruses known to contaminate the polio vaccines) has been linked with cancers in humans; there is a chicken retrovirus which contaminates the measles and mumps vaccines called Reverse Transcriptase. This substance, an ancient non-human DNA code, is thought to switch on the HIV virus and cause it to become AIDS in humans; AIDS itself has been linked with a virus called SIV (Simian Immunodeficiency Virus) which contaminated both the polio and smallpox vaccines; the current MMR (measles mumps rubella) and other vaccines which contain bovine (cow) blood products are thought to be able to spread the human and always fatal form of mad cow disease, Creutzfeld-Jacobs disease, more readily than eating contaminated meat.

4) Vaccines can cause serious immediate side effects
As long as there have been vaccines, there have been reports of serious side effects following their administration. These side effects include (but are not limited to) convulsions and epilepsy, permanent brain damage, anaphylactic (life threatening allergic) reactions, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), retinal and brain haemorrhages (now being confused with Shaken Baby Syndrome) and death.

5) Vaccines can cause serious long-term side effects
According to medical reports, children are now less healthy than they have ever been before. More than 40% of all children now suffer from chronic conditions , something that was unheard of prior to mass vaccination. Vaccines have been associated with such conditions as Asthma, Eczema, Food Allergies, Chronic Ear Infections, Insulin Dependent Diabetes, Arthritis, Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Hyperactivity, Schizophrenia, Multiple Sclerosis, Cancer and a raft of other chronic and auto-immune conditions which are experiencing dramatic rises in incidence.

6) Vaccines do not necessarily protect against infectious diseases
For many years, parents were told that once a child was fully vaccinated, they would be protected for life. That has now turned into a series of life-long boosters that are still not able to protect either children or adults from infectious diseases. For the very real risk of both short and long-term side effects from vaccines, parents are asked to allow their children to be given vaccines that at best, will provide a temporary sensitiveness to illnesses and at worst, can make their children more susceptible to both opportunistic and infectious illness. As evidenced by the recent whooping cough outbreak in SA, the only Australian state which actually records vaccination status in cases of infectious illness, 87% of all those who contracted whooping cough and whose vaccination status was known were fully and appropriately vaccinated. In fact, Australian government statistics have shown that the majority of outbreaks in Australia occur in those who have been either fully vaccinated or were too young to be fully vaccinated.

7) Doctors, as paid salesmen for vaccine products, are no longer considered to be trustworthy arbiters of their safety and effectiveness
Doctors are currently receiving several payments from the government to push vaccines. These include $6 for reporting vaccinations to the Australian Childhood Immunization Register (ACIR), a national database which tracks vaccination status in our children and which has been called 'back-door Australia Card'; $18.50 on top of their Medicare rebate for vaccinating a child on time; and a bulk payment at the end of each year based upon them having a practice vaccination rate in excess of 80%. These payments can add up to many tens of thousands of dollars in a busy inner-city practice.

As a result of this grossly unethical situation, doctors can no longer be thought of as objective when it comes to this issue. Parents no longer trust that their doctors will recommend that they vaccinate simply because it is the best thing for their child rather than the best thing for the doctor's bottom line.

8) Pharmaceutical companies have paid for almost all vaccine research to date
Just as the tobacco companies paid for corrupt and incorrect research which purported to show that tobacco and tobacco products were safe for human consumption, so too the pharmaceutical companies have paid for and produced almost all of the research into vaccines. While the Australian government continues to spend literally hundreds of millions of dollars a year in promoting and implementing vaccination campaigns (an example is the $292 million earmarked for vaccination against Meningococcal this year alone!) and little or no money on independent research, parents will continue to mistrust the research that has been performed by vested interests. After all, companies are by their very definition commercial concerns which are motivated by profit. There is nothing that would make a pharmaceutical company intrinsically more ethical and therefore more trustworthy than a tobacco company. In addition, it is a little-known fact that the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA), the government body which licenses and registers vaccines and other medical products, does not perform any tests whatsoever to verify pharmaceutical company claims of safety or effectiveness.

9) Doctors and health professionals rarely if ever report vaccine reactions
In discussions with representatives of both ADRAC (The Adverse Drug Reactions Advisory Committee) and the SAEFVSS (Serious Adverse Events Following Vaccination Surveillance Scheme), the two government bodies charged with keeping track of reactions to vaccines and other drugs, the AVN's representatives were informed that less than 10% of all adverse reactions are ever reported. This means that the government's claims of vaccine safety are admittedly 90% incorrect. In addition, the AVN's adverse reactions database currently contains details on more than 800 serious adverse vaccine reactions. Not one of these reactions was ever reported by the doctors or health professionals involved. Parents cannot rely on data with that wide a margin of error when they are dealing with the health and well-being of their children.

10) Some childhood illnesses have beneficial aspects and therefore, prevention may not necessarily be in the best interests of the child
Measles, for example, has been used in Scandinavian countries to successfully treat such autoimmune conditions as eczema and many studies have performed which show that children who do not contract measles naturally as a child are more likely to suffer from certain cancers later in life. In addition, recent studies have shown that contracting the common childhood illnesses help to prime and strengthen the immune system in a way that vaccinations just cannot do. This priming means that children are much less likely to suffer from the now common allergic and autoimmune conditions that plague them today. Conditions such as asthma, diabetes and cancer. In addition, vaccinated mothers cannot confer passive immunity to their children even if they have contracted the wild form of the disease. This immunity used to protect all children during their vulnerable first months and years. Now, a vaccinated mother will give birth to a child who will be susceptible to these infections when, prior to vaccines, they would normally have been immune.
Vaccination is a medical procedure. It should never, ever be mandated. Nor should there ever be any coercion, financial or social penalties for those parents who have chosen, as is their right under the law, not to take the above risks on behalf of their children.

Unvaccinated children continue to be among the healthiest children in our society. They are no more the carriers of disease than any other healthy person. It is the government's responsibility to do the necessary research to ensure that procedures they are recommending for all Australian families are as safe and effective as they possibly can be. It is also their responsibility to keep vested interests honest. On both counts, this government has failed in its duty of care to our most vulnerable resource – our children.

Any one of the many points raised above deserves critical examination and public discussion and the parents who ask these questions deserve respect, not vilification.

The other day I was talking to my best friend and we both ended up saying "I can't believe we put our parents through so much." Specifically my poor mama in my case. I wasn't a bad kid but I wasn't the greatest. Skipping school, sneaking out in the middle of the night and dating some real losers (at least in my mom's eyes) during my rebel without a cause years really hurt my mama in ways I couldn't imagine at the time. She'd cry, beg, scream and punish me but I wanted freedom... And I was willing to fight for my right to parrrrttyyy. Mind you, I was also an AP student, scholarship-worthy, multi-charity volunteer... I was an overall "good" kid but my good behavior could never cast a shadow on my bad behavior. My poor mom. I gave her some sleepless nights and not only as a newborn.

I stop to think about the nights I'd sneak out and skip school... All the possible "bad things" my mom must've thought about. How heartbreaking to walk into your 19 year-olds room in the middle of the night and not find her in bed! (I snuck out plenty o' times from 19 to 21 because of my early curfew.)

Some of the most difficult moments in parenting I anticipate to be the teenage years, when we slowly transition into our pseudo-adulthood and selfishly claim our independence.

I'm sorry I made you go through some rough moments mama... You didn't deserve for me to make you go through all that. I still live to make you proud and hope I have redeemed myself... But I must admit, it wasn't until I had a baby that I really thought about those moments with remorse.

It's official. I have traded in the mojitos for baby bottles, the stilettos for bare feet and the push up bra for the maternity, peek-a-boo nipple kind... They almost sound sexy for a second.

My life as I knew it has changed drastically but in many ways for the better. We often feel drastic changes to be a threat to our comfort zone without realizing that we just may have been uncomfortable the entire time... You realize your comfort zone was really a discomfort zone of jumbled up fear, insecurity and whispers from strangers... And as a result you remain stagnant. You confuse comfort for complacency and fear change not realizing what's to come is for the better.

Embracing my pregnancy took time. Luckily, I had nine months to do it. I almost felt pregnancy at my age (28) was "too young" - realizing many of my counterparts were still single and selfishly living their lives. I thought, "Motherhood is lame, boring and a complete inconvenience." The lifestyle changes that came along with being a pregnant, career oriented, avid-party-goer-night-owl were gradual but hard on my hard-wired ways and at times depressing. I was out every night practically even if it was just dinner with a friend or my husband. I had to stop drinking, which was always socially but let's just say I was (am) very social. Prior to pregnancy, our weekend began on Wednesday nights... From networking events, to checking out a live music show, to parties... There was always something to do and for the most part we "had" to go due to work/friend commitments. We sound almost fabulous but no. Hubby is a veteran Miami music producer so we often go see the bands he's working with and I work in PR and often have networking functions or events of my own so our nightlife was often related to our work life. Going out and not drinking wasn't so hard at first... After all, I wasn't a heavy drinker but I started to feel so out of place. What I hated was being pregnant and not looking it, just feeling bloated, tired and not myself overall. I didn't feel beautiful and I couldn't have a glass of wine to take the edge off after spending 2 hours changing outfits only to end up wearing something I didn't like once I walked out the door. I felt guilty at times when I was just so exhausted from existing that I'd completely sell out after snoozing through my power nap alarms... I didn't want to be the "Oh, she's pregnant and can't get out of bed" girl or use that excuse but many times I was and did.
Also, I felt being pregnant and out passed midnight was viewed as irresponsible or "wrong" although being home I'd likely be just as awake. Oh yeah, I suffered from insomnia too here and there.

Many times pre-pregnancy I would go out despite just wanting to stay home and rest. I learned how to become assertive and put myself (and my baby) first and to eventually stop caring what people thought... So what if so-and-so asked me to come out and was expecting me - if I didn't feel like going, I wasn't about to force it. I learned to say "I'll try to make it" instead of "I'll be there." That was hard because I'm a "yes" person and I genuinely like being out and about but learning to say "no" to others meant saying "yes" to myself... And to my baby.

My lifestyle has changed... But for the better. We all go through a major life change, for me... Bidding adieu to my night life was the most drastic. Pregnancy taught be how to balance quality time and networking, mingling, partying. My life is still fast-paced but on my terms not the social calendars. I started going out again with my husband after a month post-pregnancy (once a week) and I'm out daily with my little sidekick/son... He even went to a board meeting with me. I no longer care about missing important social events or networking functions the way I'd stress over before. Life is too precious to spend time away from your family and even alone with yourself if that's what you want in exchange for appeasing other people or "hustling." So turn down the invites. Don't feel obligated if you don't want to... Drink your glass of wine alone at home with your husband away from the crowds and forget to take your birth control every now and then... Step out of your comfort zone. Change up your lifestyle. Take up a new hobby. Do something completely opposite of what you're accustomed to. You'd be surprised the things you discover about yourself.

For me, pregnancy roulette was the best gamble of my life. :)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Someone posted this on Facebook, not sure who the author is but it's very poignant. To me, being a good mother/father means also being a good wife/husband. Our children need a solid family foundation and although there are a lot of single amazing mothers, there is nothing more than we want for our child than a solid, loving environment free of hostility and full of peace. On that note, I want to share this with you...
MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A GOD-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. -Matthew 19:6

• Most symptoms will happen whenever they feel like popping up even if the books tell you that they happen at certain stages or at certain times of the day. The cause of the symptom varies with different stages, but the symptom itself can occur at any time. Ahem, morning sickness? How about the-entire-freakin-day sickness! :) Luckily, that was really only the first trimester for me.

• The books speak about pregnancy symptoms casually to ease your fears, but in reality the books' comments on symptoms are terribly understated, and most people I know who have had babies have horror stories to prove this. Sorry, it's true. 

• Some women actually get worried if they don't have some of the common symptoms listed in their pregnancy book. Remember, not all symptoms happen to all women. Some women don't have any symptoms at all (and they annoy the rest of us); just be grateful if you are one of these women. 

• No two women experience these symptoms in exactly the same way. Some have a symptoms so mildly that it barely exists at all while others need to be hospitalized. Most pregnancy books try to go somewhere down the middle, and I try to give you some of some of the worst case scenarios here just so you won't be in for a shock. 

Book vs. Reality - What some of the symptoms feel like?

The book says: "You may feel a bit moody." 

 Translation:

Remedy:

Remind yourself that it's probably just hormones. Get a journal and write everything down; it will help you vent and will give you a good laugh after you have the baby. I wish I would've have done this. I must thank my friends for hearing me out! Just try to not take things out on your loved ones (or even complete strangers), and don't use it as an excuse to act bitchy... but you will be a bitch at times. A pregnant one. So lucky for you, people will actually tolerate you... for the most part.

The book says: "You may feel fatigued."

Translation:

Remedy:

They say that exercise helps, but I was far too tired to exercise. I walked here and there and really tried to muster the energy but to no avail. Extra sleep seemed to make a difference sometimes, but for the most part you just have to wait until it passes. I say sleep as much as you possibly can, when you can. Listen to your body. 

The book says: "You may feel nauseated."

Translation:

Remedy:

If you know something makes you sick, avoid it. Ignore all those books with lists of what things will cause nausea because it's different for everyone. Same goes for remedies like ginger tea, Preggie Pops, saltines, etc although eating something always helped me. You may actually crave everything on the "to avoid" list. The most important thing is to never let yourself have an empty stomach because that will make it worse. Nibble throughout the day instead of eating big meals. Sometimes I was so tired I didn't even want to go get lunch at work... needless to say, I ordered a lot of take out. Keep snack with you - I loved Belly Bars.

The book says: "You may experience heartburn."

Translation:

Remedy:

If you get it while you sleep, sleep on your right side (anatomically it does make a difference). Pay attention to foods that may make it worse and avoid them. Although Tums are OK per doctors, I would take a more natural reliever - papaya enzyme, it really helped and I'd take it right after meals as soon as I felt the heartburn creep up.

The book says: "You may experience food cravings."

Translation:

Remedy:

Just don't eat anything dangerous to you or your baby and try to get some healthy foods in their too. You have a craving, give in.

The book says: "You may have breast tenderness."

Translation:

Remedy:

Wear a supportive yet stretchy bra (sports bras are best) or wear camis with a built in bra and just wait it out. Sorry.

The book says: "Your breasts may become larger and your areolas may darken."

Translation:

Remedy:

Live with it. Sorry. Again.

The book says: "You may experience frequent urination."

Translation:

Remedy:

Birth. Whatever you do, don't cut back on your intake of fluids to reduce the amount you pee. You'll just get dehydrated and put your baby at risk. This will also help with water retention. There's no better time to get into the habit of drinking water, you'll need it later on when you're breast feeding.

The book says: "You may leak a small amount of urine."

Translation:

Remedy:

It's time to get the sanitary pads and panty liners back out . . . and you thought you wouldn't need them for nine months.

The book says: "You may experience dry, itchy skin."

Translation:

Remedy:

Drink lots of fluids and use lotion immediately after you get out of the bath/shower (don't dry off first). Use cocoa butter, vitamin E, etc... but sorry, you'll still get stretch marks if you're meant to, this may help a bit thought.

The book says: "You may develop the pregnancy mask."

Translation:

Remedy:

It might go away after birth, but some people have it forever. If you have it for a few years after the birth of your child, you could consider seeing a dermatologist.

The book says: "You may develop acne."

Translation:

Remedy:

Keep your face clean. Don't touch your face unless necessary. It will get better after your hormones get back to normal.

The book says: "You may develop the linea nigra."

Translation:

Remedy:

It will eventually go away after your baby is born.

The book says: "You may notice an increase in hair growth."

Translation:

Remedy:

Just wait until after your baby is born when all of your hair starts to fall out. In the mean time get out that facial wax and rip off that mustache.

The book says: "You may develop stretch marks."

Translation:

Remedy:

They'll probably be there for life, but they will lighten up over time. You can try all those creams (cocoa butter, vitamin E, etc.), but I know very few people who claim that it actually works. I saw a dermatologist after the baby was born and she recommended Mederma Stretch Mark Therapy.

The book says: "You may notice that your nails grow longer."

Translation:

Remedy:

Who would want one? If you don't like it, cut them. Get yourself a manicure/pedicure every week because you deserve to feel girly.

The book says: "You may experience an increase in saliva."

Translation:

Remedy:

Sometimes it will go away before the baby is born. Sometimes you'll have to wait until the little one arrives. The good news is that lots of saliva is actually good for reducing cavities.

The book says: "You may experience an increase in vaginal discharge."

Translation:

Remedy:

Just wait until your body recovers from the birth until then tell hubby not to go downtown.

The book says: "You may feel congested."

Translation:

Remedy:

Birth, but you can try using saline nasal spray and using a vaporizer. Also, Breatheright strips can help although I never used them but I read.

The book says: "You may experience an increase in thirst."

Translation:

Remedy:

Drink more. Thirst is a sign of dehydration.

The book says: "You may experience constipation."

Translation:

Remedy:

Eat lots of fiber. Prunes are still a favorite for dealing with this, and oatmeal and bran work well too. Don't forget to drink your water.

The book says: "You may have difficulty sleeping."

Translation:

Remedy:

You won't get comfortable until after the baby is born, but then you'll be up all night with a crying baby. Not all night, but yes most of it at least..Later it will be a toddler who wants a glass of water, has monsters under the bed, and "I'm not tired." Eventually you'll be up all night waiting for your teenager to come home, most likely after curfew. (I guess that's payback, sorry mom!) Just learn to appreciate the moments you can sleep. Don't worry, you will get to sleep for an entire night once in awhile and you'll be amazed at how well you can function on such little sleep. While you're pregnant though, try using pillows (lots of pillows if necessary or try a body pillow or maternity pillow) to support various areas of your body (everyone is different, so experiment with your pillow locations).

The book says: "You may experience unusual and vivid dreams."

Translation:

Remedy:

None. Write them down and laugh at them later. I wish I had done that. If you tend to have nightmares (which I had often), write those down as well because it may help you work through whatever it is that is bringing out those nightmares. Ignore those books about dream interpretation. They're really not psychology text books, and when you consider how two people interpret something completely differently, there's simply no way to say that "this object symbolizes xyz."

The book says: "You may experience some pelvic discomfort or contractions."

Translation:

Remedy:

None. Relax through them. The more you fight them, the more they'll bug you. Take slow, deep breaths. Even after birth you feel contractions as your uterus shrinks back to its normal size. If they seem unusually painful or strong or come at regular intervals, call your doctor or midwife.

The book says: "You may experience mild pains in your hips when you change position."

Translation:

Remedy:

Wait until your hormones go back to normal after birth. Until then, no quick movements. Try warm baths and heating pads. You may even need to change the way you move... bring on the funny pregnant-woman walk! My husband called me "his little penguin!"

The book says: "You may experience genital discomfort."

Translation:

Remedy:

If you like it, what's to fix? If you're in pain, just wait. Some people get better during pregnancy. Others say it didn't get better until they fully healed after birth You'll be surprised how back to normal you'll be after giving birth.

The book says: "You may have a change in libido."

Translation:

Remedy:

It can take several weeks (and sometimes months) after the birth of your child for your hormones to return to normal (and even after they do, you may be too exhausted from taking care of a newborn to care about sex). If you and your significant other are happy with this new level of sex drive, enjoy it. If not, have patience and hope. Hormones change daily, so tomorrow could be better, but don't forget that it could also be a long time before such changes happen, so in the meantime get creative and have patience. Try not to abandon your lover, remember he has needs just like you - make an effort for alone time.

The book says: "You may occasionally feel a sharp pain in your vagina."

Translation:

Remedy:

It should be gone by the time you fully heal after birth. Practice your poker face in the meantime because there's nothing like suddenly developing the look of death while you shriek during a meeting. Shift in your seat, change position, breath deeply, and pray it goes away. If it's extremely strong, call your doctor or midwife.

The book says: "Your gums may bleed."

Translation:

Remedy:

Keep brushing your teeth and flossing, and visit your dentist. Be aware that bleeding gums are like an open door for germs, so please be careful about what you put into your mouth because you may be inviting a nasty infection (and yes, I mean everything from nail biting to stuff to the x-rated).

The book says: "You may begin to have headaches."

Translation:

Remedy:

Try a cold compress or a warm compress. Drink more water because it could be a sign of dehydration. Do as much as you can to keep yourself relaxed. That means forget the laundry, cooking and even going to work. Listen to your body and just relax. I would sleep do get away from the headaches. If you use glasses (like me) go get your eyes checked, I learned that pregnancy makes your vision worse - my prescription actually changed while I was pregnant and I got a second pair. Now, my baby is almost 3-months old and the prescription is too strong and I have to use my original glasses.

The book says: "You may feel light-headed or dizzy."

Translation:

Remedy:

Don't move around too quickly. Go ahead and look for those soft places to land while passing out because it will make you feel more secure. And, don't forget to hold onto those hand rails when going up and down stairs, even hold on to the sink or whatever is closest to when you get up from the toilet.

The book says: "You may experience hot flashes."

Translation:

Remedy:

If it's cool, use it. Ice packs, frozen vegetables, or even running outside and sitting on the porch in your shorts and a t-shirt while it's snowing will make you feel a bit better. Fortunately, these don't usually last long. But they're a great preview of menopause.

The book says: "You may feel unbalanced."

Translation:

Remedy:

Be careful. Just pay extra attention to how you move, and try to always have something nearby to grab onto for support. Hold your hubby's hand. :)

The book says: "You may feel like you're in a daze."

Translation:

Remedy:

It goes away after your hormones settle down, usually about six weeks after birth. Write down your stupid experiences because they're soooo funny later on. I'll share some...I was putting my seat belt on and instead of clipping it in, I tried to put it in the ignition. I left my cell phone in the fridge. Would try to open my house with my car key or car alarm. Silly, stupid things. 

The book says: "Your stomach may become itchy."

Translation:

Remedy:

Get out that lotion. Drink your water.

The book says: "You may notice changes in your vision."

Translation:

Remedy:

If vision changes happen suddenly, call your doctor or midwife immediately because it could be a sign of preeclamsia.This happened to me while driving but luckily it's wasn't preeclamsia.  If it's bad enough to make daily activities difficult for you, you might want to get a new glasses prescription, but your vision will change yet again after your baby is born (like mine did), so consider whether you want to go through the trouble of getting new glasses since you'll just have to change them again in a few months, if you're getting headaches change them... no reason to put up with that if you can avoid it.

The book says: "You may experience fluid retention."

Translation:

Remedy:

If you're swelling occurs all over or especially in your face and neck, call your doctor or midwife because it could be a sign of preeclamsia. Otherwise, buy some comfortable, adjustable shoes. (My favorite shoes were flip-flops, even for work) Take off your rings. Get rid of those tight outfits (even the tight maternity outfits). Drink lots of water (yes, drink more water; don't cut back) because if you restrict your water intake, your body may respond by retaining even more fluid. It should go away several weeks after birth.

The book says: "You may experience backaches."

Translation:

Remedy:

Back massage. If you can't get your partner to do it for hours at a time, purchase a back massager. Try a shower massager with a lot of force, and make sure you can angle it directly on the painful spot. Heat also helps, so get a heating pad, or take a warm bath. If you work sitting down all day, this will only make back pain worse (and feet/leg swelling too) so get up and try to walk around as much as you can.

The book says: "You may experience leg cramps."

Translation:

Remedy:

Heat. Massage. Also, try taking more calcium or talk to your doctor or midwife about a possible calcium, magnesium, or phosphorous imbalance which have been thought to cause the problem. Stretching can help, too. I would wake up in horrible pain in the middle of the night with leg cramps in my calves. I started eating more (organic) dairy for calcium and would have a YoBaby! yogurt sometimes even twice a day.

The book says: "You may experience stiffness."

Translation:

Remedy:

Try to do stretching exercises every day. Yoga is great. Accept that there are two people living in your body now, so there's less room to move around, and you'll just have to deal with it until one of you decides to leave. Once it becomes difficult to drive, I highly recommend giving up the car keys. Yes, it's not fun to need a driver, but it's better than ending up in an accident and hurting somebody else... I was just too tired to drive most of the time and my hubby was afraid I'd go into labor.

The book says: "You may experience numbness and tingling in your hands."

Translation:

Remedy:

It should go away after your swelling goes away, usually well after birth. Use a brace (such as a wrist brace) when doing repetitive movements if it's really bad.

The book says: "You may have difficulty getting comfortable."

Translation:

Remedy:

Daydream about how nice it will be to have your body back after your baby is born and your body starts to return to it's unpregnant state. Until then, pillows, pillows, pillows and patience.

The book says: "You may be able to feel your abdominal muscles separate."

Translation:

Remedy:

Birth.

The book says: "You may experience sciatica."

Translation:

Remedy:

Sometimes they go away when you move, or movement could just make it worse. Some people say that heating pads help. You just need to figure out what works best for you.

The book says: "You may experience shortness of breath."

Translation:

Remedy:

Birth

The book says: "You may experience nesting."

Translation:

Remedy:

Who wants one? Clean your house while you can. You won't have time after the baby is born. Just be careful about what you throw out because you can't get it back and don't overexert yourself... like I did. I stayed up until 3:20am on 5 hours sleep from the previous night of nesting.... at 3:29am my fore water ruptured, contractions began 10 minutes later... long story short, I was so exhausted that my body was just giving out, I had no energy and was awake for almost 48 hours, 26 of which were labor... but more on that later. "Rest don't nest!"