I want to write... and perhaps now I have a couple minutes to spare, but in my mind... I know I have to go. I am late. Always late... in a haste.
Today, time will not defeat me... at least not for the next short moments.
This morning I realized "I lost it" - the ease of writing has long been gone and I seek to earn the privilege to write again, to let my words flow, to create something beautiful... worthy enough for others to read, perhaps even enjoy, deep enough to make me feel relieved and rid me of any haunting thoughts or even just to express moments of overwhelming joy... I seek the writing that makes me feel like I am translating myself onto this abused screen and takes me away from the mess that is myself. I want to become words... but not today. Today I have become too many elipsises and commas... today I am not my words or my thoughts... today I am a product of time, a failed miscalculation.
Today, I felt lost and didn't know where to begin or end and I am mourning the loss of my words, of my inspiration... of my time to write... but I am late, I have to go... tomorrow perhaps I'll find the words and maybe even the time... but seems neither are my friend these days. 
2 comments:
jennylee!!! it's about time!! even though it's just about wanting to write, i enjoyed reading your blog... as a matter of fact, i feel what you are goinging through... i feel very uninspired lately, and yesterday, it seems as if all that has changed... i am glad you wrote this... find your inspiration and keep writing, girl!!
love you!
Pollis, thank you so much... you are always so encouraging. I think if I just write for the sake of it, something will come of it... my thoughts will once again become words. The process seems harder than I ever remember... but it is definitely something we both enjoy and I'm glad we're both on here! :)
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